Post by eniisa on Mar 9, 2006 1:41:51 GMT -5
It pains me alot to even write this but I've got a lot of problems in life at this point in time, a girl punched me in the face on Tuesday (luckily no fracture), Deputy Principals believe I was provoking her and that they think I'm agressive. School Captain looks at me like a criminal, my best friend is leaving and even though many aspects of my life are getting better by the minute, I feel like the bad qualities always outweigh the good ones.
The girl that hit me is in most of my classes, and I really want to change classes but I dont think that's going to happen which means I'd probably be sad the whole year and probably next year as well.
I try to 'ignore' and 'forgive' but when I don't forget and history keeps repeating itself, those things are really hard to do. Especially if you're an asian kid like me, everyone is like 'hey it's an asian kid they're easily picked on'
And it comes to a point where all I can do is cry and sometimes even that is not enough and it all gets so bad I want to run away.
Also, if you guys read my DevArt Journal my dad is a real pain too, he has these unrealistic expectations of me and when I do my best it's never good enough for him; so now what I find myself doing is not trying so I won't be a dissapointment in the first place; but by doing that all I achieve in doing is dissapointing myself.
Another thing is, no one listens because they're all wrapped up in their own lives to be interested in the sadness and self-pity of someone else. They have 'no time' or they're 'too tired'. Great just great.
Anyway, I'm just pissed off at the world. The world sucks. The world curses at me. The world doesn't laugh at my jokes. The world doesn't listen to me. I feel like the world doesn't appreciate me and/or respect me. I feel like the world has changed.
But most of all I feel like Australia isn't my home anymore, I want to leave this place and be alone to a place where I can be alone and drown in all the tears and self pity.
So in conclusion, I'll be gone a few weeks to sort out some stuff.
The girl that hit me is in most of my classes, and I really want to change classes but I dont think that's going to happen which means I'd probably be sad the whole year and probably next year as well.
I try to 'ignore' and 'forgive' but when I don't forget and history keeps repeating itself, those things are really hard to do. Especially if you're an asian kid like me, everyone is like 'hey it's an asian kid they're easily picked on'
And it comes to a point where all I can do is cry and sometimes even that is not enough and it all gets so bad I want to run away.
Also, if you guys read my DevArt Journal my dad is a real pain too, he has these unrealistic expectations of me and when I do my best it's never good enough for him; so now what I find myself doing is not trying so I won't be a dissapointment in the first place; but by doing that all I achieve in doing is dissapointing myself.
Another thing is, no one listens because they're all wrapped up in their own lives to be interested in the sadness and self-pity of someone else. They have 'no time' or they're 'too tired'. Great just great.
Anyway, I'm just pissed off at the world. The world sucks. The world curses at me. The world doesn't laugh at my jokes. The world doesn't listen to me. I feel like the world doesn't appreciate me and/or respect me. I feel like the world has changed.
But most of all I feel like Australia isn't my home anymore, I want to leave this place and be alone to a place where I can be alone and drown in all the tears and self pity.
So in conclusion, I'll be gone a few weeks to sort out some stuff.